rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
