Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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