I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
