I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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