birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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