right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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