apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
