i was rollin on her like bob the builder
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
