that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
