Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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