the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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