Need sex. Gaining weight.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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