so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
