hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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