More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
