worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
