if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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