He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
