So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
