My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
