I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
