Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No stitches, just platelets and will power
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found puke in my bra..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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