bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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