The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
