sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
