How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
