Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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