he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
