So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
