At least make sure they are 18
Why
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
