my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
