I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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