I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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