The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
