Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
