Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
being pregnant is like rehab
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
