erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
