PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
