Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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