I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
