It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
