I wanna bring you to show and tell
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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