Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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