Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
