i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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