My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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