i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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