My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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