the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So squirting runs in the family.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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