dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
