Betty ford says i'm here all night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
